INT. WARD'S BEDROOM - DAY
 
              TITLE SEQUENCE
 
              The opening credits roll as pages of penciled sketches reveal
              a beautiful woman. Each the same woman. Each is dated from
              "78 to 1985. n each is printed "Kelly" and the initials "WL"
              The signature of the artist.On occasion we see a male or
              female character shift into a dual identity.  Each of them
              conforming into a recognizable super-hero, e.g. Clark Kent to
              Superman, Barbara Gordon to Batgirl, Peter Parker to
              Spiderman.
 
              Around the dimly lit bedroom there are sketches everywhere.
              They are on the walls and scattered about a desk. Among them
              are yet more pictures of beautiful full bodied women.
 
              On the nightstand a clock radio flashes 12:00.  A neon phone
              RINGS.  A lump stirs in the bed. The phone RINGS again,
 
              A hand darts out from under the covers and frantically
              searches for the receiver. Once it's found and pulled under
              the covers, we hear a voice say:
 
                                  WARD (V.O)
                        Hello? Hello Luthor.. Do I know
                        what time it is?
 
              The lump throws back the covers.  Meet WARD LATTERMAN, a
              twenty eight year old, blonde blue eyed, less than impressive
              example of the American male. He is dressed in a pair of
              boxers only.
 
                                  WARD
                        No Luthor, what time is it?
 
              He bolts up in bed and grabs the clock from his nightstand.
 
                                  WARD
                               (continuing)
                        What? You lied!
 
              He throws the clock across the room and breaks a shaving
              mirror on the bureau.  From the time the clock leaves his
              hand, it seems to move in slow motion.
 
                                  WARD
                               (continuing)
                        No Luthor.. What? Don't talk to me
                        like that. Let me remind you I'm
                        your superior!  I made you Luthor,
                        I can break you!  I know the
                        graveyard shift is long enough!
                        Just stay and help Petra until I
                        get there.
                               (pause)
                        Yes Luthor, overtime, I know, I
                        know.  I'll be there soon.  Good
                        bye.
 
              Ward drops the phone while struggling to put on his clothes.
              Suddenly a thought strikes him and he quickly picks up the
              phone again.
 
                                  WARD
                               (continuing)
                        Luthor, don't bend the grill!
 
              He hangs up and continues to dress through his apartment to
              the kitchen.
 
              INT. WARD'S KITCHEN - DAY
 
              The light snaps on and we see an unusable bachelor's kitchen.
              The Frugal Gourmet's worst nightmare.  Ward's most prized
              possessions are the coffee maker and can opener.
 
                                  WARD
                        Ah coffee... only have time for
                        half a cup.
 
              Ward pours a cup of coffee, he puts that same cup back on the
              heating element and runs out of the kitchen with the coffee-
              pot in his hand.
 
              EXT. WARD'S DUPLEX - DAY
 
              Ward steps outside and checks to make sure the door is locked
              behind him.
 
              He rushes to the mailbox at edge of the drive way. He removes
              the mail and puts the coffee pot into the mail box.
 
              Ward stands in front of his garage door trying to open it
              with a faulty remote.  He bangs the remote a few times and
              finally the door begins to lift open.
 
              MARY ROBERTS steps out to check her mail. Mary is thirtyish.
              A tall, stately brunette. A woman of the nineties, she deals
              in real  estate and owns both units outright.
 
              Mary Roberts' apartment is the mirror image of Ward's. Duplex-
              like, the two units face each other and join at the garages.
              The only noticeable differences are the splashes of yellow
              from flowers growing in window boxes of Mary's neatly painted
              apartment.
 
              Ward notices Mary, and his mood changes for the better.
                                  WARD
                               (cheery)
                        Hi Mary.
 
              Mary sees Ward and quickly tries to step into her apartment
              but the screen door has closed.  She has trouble opening it.
              Ward steps over to help her.
 
                                  WARD
                               (continuing)
                        Having trouble?
 
                                  MARY
                        No trouble, Ward, it's just stuck.
 
                                  WARD
                        Your latch seems to be stuck...
 
              He barely jiggles the handle when suddenly it falls apart in
              his hands. He holds the parts out for her to see.
 
                                  WARD
                               (continuing)
                        You see, your latch wasn't secured
                        properly.
 
              Mary glares at Ward and a low GROWL is heard. Ward looks down
              and sees ROCKY on the other side of the door. Rocky is a
              white boxer.
 
              He is slowly revealed as the door opens. Rocky takes one good
              look at Ward and his ears drop back while his growl becomes
              more menacing.
 
              Ward turns and runs for his garage.  He drops the mail, the
              door parts and his remote.  The garage door starts closing in
              front of him and he can feel Rocky hot on his tail.
 
              Three feet from closing, Ward makes it under the door just
              before it slams shut, Rocky slides in behind him.  Mary walks
              up, mail and remote in hand.
 
                                  MARY
                        Rocky?
 
              INT. WARD'S GARAGE - DAY
 
              Ward is tightly mashed between his car and the door.
 
                                  MARY (V.O)
                        Ward? Are you all right?
                                  WARD
                        Sorry about your door, Mary.
                        Would you call off your dog?
 
              Rocky BARKS, Ward's expression changes to surprised pain.
 
              Mary opens the door and Rocky trots out with a piece of black
              material between his jaws.
 
              Ward clings to the underside of the door as it rises.  His
              torn pant leg swings in the breeze.
 
              Mary tosses Ward's mail and his garage door remote onto the
              ground.
 
                                  MARY
                        There's your mail, Ward.
 
              POV - WARD
 
              Still clinging to the door, he watches Mary and Rocky head
              back to their apartment. Rocky stops and AUDIBLY SPITS out
              the shredded piece, then catches up to Mary.
 
                                  WARD
                        Thanks, Mary.  Have a nice day.
 
              EXT. ESTABLISHING SHOT - O'DANIEL'S RESTAURANT - DAY
 
              Reminiscent of the old "Jack in the Box" design. It's a box
              with a Leprachaun perched on top.  There are drive thru and
              walk up services with no indoor dining.
 
              Lovely fiberglass tables line one side of the walk up window.
              Most fast food restaurants of its time have been re-modeled
              for design and convenience, O'Daniels stands as a beacon to
              the tacky reputation fast food deserves.
 
              INT/EXT.  O'DANIELS DRIVE UP WINDOW - DAY
 
              PETRA is taking a drive-through order. She is a mature, good
              looking woman from Russia.  She is competent and couraraging.
 
              We hear an order being given.
 
                                  EDDIE (V.O)
                        I would like the corned beef
                        BREAKFAST BLARNEY SCONE, and a
                        large cup of coffee. That's all.
 
                                  PETRA
                        That will be $2.37. Thank you.
                        Luthor! A corned beef breakfast
                        scone.
              Petra fills the order.  First the coffee, then as she passes
              the warming bin, a freshly wrapped food item slides her way.
              Without missing a beat, she scoops it up and continues toward
              the window.  She arrives the same time as the customer does.
 
              EDDIE, the mailman sits in his truck. He is grey haired, with
              a big bushy mustache and a twinkle in his eye.  Nice tan,
              good shape. They exchange food, money and mail.
 
                                  PETRA
                               (continuing)
                        Good morning, mailman Eddie.
 
                                  EDDIE
                        Good morning Petra, my Pravda
                        Prima Donna.
 
                                  PETRA
                        When did I tell you I danced with
                        the Bolshoi Ballet?
 
                                  EDDIE
                        You didn't.  But why not let me
                        take you back to Russia and we
                        shall trip the light fantastic
                        through a six month Siberian
                        winter night.
 
                                  PETRA
                        I've been to Siberia, you wouldn't
                        like it.
 
              Ward enters behind Petra.  He still seems rushed.
 
                                  EDDIE
                        Morning Ward.
 
                                  PETRA
                        Good morning, Mr. Latterman.
 
                                  WARD
                        Hi, Petra.  Morning, Eddie.
 
              Petra hands Ward the bundle of mail.
 
                                  EDDIE
                        Before I go, how about this,  a
                        bottle of vodka, a jacuzzi of
                        borscht and thou.
 
                                  WARD
                        I'm sorry Eddie, I don't drink
                        vodka.
              Ward realizes he wasn't being spoken to, he looks up into the
              eyes of both Petra and Eddie.
 
                                  WARD
                               (continuing)
                        Oh... you weren't talking to me.
 
              Petra looks at Eddie.
 
                                  PETRA
                        I'm sorry, I don't like borscht.
                        Goodbye Mailman Eddie.  See you
                        tomorrow.
 
                                  EDDIE
                        Rain or shine, my little babushka,
                        rain or shine.
 
              Eddie drives off. Petra turns her attention to Ward, who
              seems to have found something disturbing in the mail.
 
                                  PETRA
                        You look so serious.
 
                                  WARD
                        Petra,let me read something to
                        you. It's from the home office in
                        Hibbing, Minnesota.
 
                                  PETRA
                        Is there trouble?
 
                                  WARD
                        Tell me what you think.
                               (reading)
                        Please be advised the Southwest
                        Regional Senior Vice President
                        will be in your area the week-end
                        of Friday, the 13th.  Make
                        available, Monday morning, the
                        16th, for a meeting concerning the
                        imminent future of your store and
                        its employees.
 
              Ward looks at Petra with an air of uncertainty.
 
                                  PETRA
                        If you are asking me, the Senior
                        Vice President is coming here to
                        give you a medal.
 
              Petra has picked up the rest of the mail and is riffling
              through it.
                                  WARD
                        I wish I was that optimistic.
                        Senior Vice Presidents don't show
                        up unless there is impending doom.
                        We passed our inspection this
                        month.
 
                                  PETRA
                        Maybe this is a surprise
                        inspection.
 
                                  WARD
                        I don't like surprises. What could
                        it be?
 
                                  PETRA
                        Don't worry, Mr. Latterman.
                        Surprise or not, you keep our
                        store way above company standards.
 
                                  WARD
                        You're right Petra. We do keep it
                        tidy. It's clean enough in here to
                        eat off of the floor.
 
                                  PETRA
                        Luthor! Something for Mr.
                        Latterman to eat off the floor.
 
              Luthor extends a spatula into the warming bin, an O'Daniels
              food item rests on it.  LUTHOR is O'Daniel's (maybe the
              world's) fastest fry cook. We only ever see him from the
              wrist down in the warming bin.
 
              Luthor flips it into the air and it spins uncontrollably
              toward Ward and Petra, landing on the floor between them.
              They look at the food, then each other.
 
                                  WARD
                        What is that?
 
                                  PETRA
                        Luthor is trying something new. It
                        is a boiled cabbage and potato
                        fajita.
 
                                  WARD
                               (to Petra)
                        Does it come with sauce?
 
              From off camera Luthor squirts sauce at Ward, it hits the
              front of his shirt. Ward looks at his shirt, then at Luthor.
                                  WARD
                               (continuing)
                        You're still mad about this
                        morning, aren't you?  Well? Give
                        me something to clean this up.
 
              A towel zings across frame and hits Ward in the face. He
              pulls it off and casts a disgusted look at Luthor, then bends
              down to clean up the mess.
 
              Meanwhile Petra is still sorting the mail when she comes
              across something unusual. She sets the rest aside and opens
              the letter.
 
                                  PETRA
                        So, you got a class reunion coming
                        up?
 
              Ward stands up into the frame rather suddenly.
 
                                  WARD
                        I do?
 
                                  PETRA
                        Yes. They had a hard time finding
                        you. It says here that the
                        graduating class of 1985 is
                        reuniting on the 14th.  That's
                        tomorrow.
 
              Ward snatches the letter away from her and reads it for
              himself.
 
                                  WARD
                        It's been 10 years?  Time to
                        relive old high school nightmares.
 
                                  PETRA
                        You don't want to go?
 
                                  WARD
                        I don't think so.
 
              He crumples the letter, and throws it in the trash. A BELL
              sounds from the drive-up window.  Petra takes the order.
 
                                  PETRA
                        Welcome to O'Daniels.  May I take
                        your order?
 
                                  KID ON INTERCOM (V.O)
                        I'd like a tongue sandwich to go
                        please.
                                  PETRA
                        OK, how do you want it to go?
 
                                  KID ON INTERCOM (V.O)
                        Ttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhppppppppppp
                               (raspberry)
 
              Ward jumps in nudging Petra out of the way.  He yells into
              the intercom.
 
                                  WARD
                        Alright you kids stop playing with
                        the Leprachaun!  Get to school!
                        Finish your education!
 
              While Ward is dealing with the hooligans, Petra pulls the
              invitation out of the trash, straightens it out, and slyly
              slips it into the pocket of her smock.
 
                                  PETRA
                        Petra thinks you miss something.
 
                                  WARD
                        You can't miss something you never
                        had.
 
                                  PETRA
                        Your class reunion. Petra thinks
                        you want to go.
 
                                  WARD
                        There is someone I'd like to
                        see... but... naw... she probably
                        doesn't...
 
                                  PETRA
                        She is someone you see with your
                        heart?
 
                                  WARD
                               (Snaps back to
                                reality.)
                        She who?  Heart?  Me?  Who said
                        anything about Kelly Osterman..
                        the only girl I ever loved.
 
                                  PETRA
                        You never told her how you feel?
 
                                  WARD
                        I almost did, at the senior prom.
 
                                  PETRA
                        What happened?
                                  WARD
                        Her boyfriend, Rick, happened. He
                        happened to be born, to grow up,
                        and just happened to go to the
                        same high school I did.
 
                                  PETRA
                        Why didn't you fight for your lady
                        love?
 
                                  WARD
                        He also happened to be twice my
                        size.  I would just as soon forget
                        him as fight him.
 
                                  PETRA
                        What about Kelly Osterman?
 
                                  WARD
                        Her, I will never forget.