in Tick Canyon
© 1996, Wayne Bauer (818) 921-6717 WGA #628331
1 EXT: BOBRICK'S ANIMAL COMPOUND - NIGHT 1
The camera passes the sign welcoming people to the "BOBRICK ANIMAL ACTORS COMPOUND". The trucking shot continues up the drive past cages of assorted birds. Some sleeping and some aware of the passing entity. Besides the rustling of animals disturbed in the night we hear SUCKING AND MOANING SOUNDS.
As the camera rounds a bend, two figures are revealed in the moonlight wrapped in a sensual kiss.
TIMMY, an unkept young man in his late teens breaks a kiss with JENNIFER, a pretty girl, relatively the same age as Timmy.
Timmy exhales but nothing comes out.
Jennifer coughs abit as she exhales smoke.
Timmy prepares a pipe load of some pot in a baggie.
JENNIFER Let's go jump on the trampoline.
TIMMY Let's stay here.
JENNIFER You don't have to do anything. I'll do all the jumping.
She rubs against him.
Timmy takes a hit on his pipe and hands it to Jennifer.
TIMMY That's up by the main house. Let's stay here.
Jennifer starts to unbutton her blouse.
Timmy lights the pipe.
JENNIFER Have you ever done it on a trampoline?
Holding his breath.
TIMMY Let's do it in front of the parrot.
Jennifer drop her blouse.
TIMMY (continuing) He won't tell anybody.
She starts to backing away from Timmy, luring him along, dropping her clothes.
TIMMY (continuing) Jennifer! We can't have sex on the trampoline!
2 EXT: MIDDLE DRIVE - NIGHT 2
Jennifer stops along a fence almost obscured by the drooping branches of the pepper trees. She strikes a sexy pose displaying her feminine charms.
Timmy finishes a big inhale of his pipe.
JENNIFER Once it gets going, the trampoline does all the work for you.
The girl is pulled visciously into the overhanging peppertree branches. The branches shake violently.
3 EXT: TIMMY'S TRAILER - NIGHT 3
Timmy exhales his smoke and staggers up to the trees.
4 EXT: MIDDLE DRIVE - NIGHT 4
TIMMY Jennifer, are you in there?
Jennifer is thrust headfirst from the branches. She knocks Timmy in the face with the top of her head. She is bloody and screams right into the camera as Timmy falls out of frame.
Timmy falls on the gravel road, semiconscious and spread- eagle.
Something behind the bushes has Jennifer by the waist. The upper part of her body is being shaken like a rag doll. She hits the top rail of the fence and grabs, it hanging on for dear life. Whatever it is is pulling her again and again.
JENNIFER Oh God, oh God it hurts! Make it stop! Make it stop!
Timmy is on the ground semi-conscience.
Jennifer is pulled back under the canopy of the pepper trees, snapping the fence rail. The branches shake. TEARING FLESH and a GUTTURAL RUMBLING is heard. Something flies from out of the branches.
Timmy is lying still in his delirium. Jennifer's arm falls across his chest. Her leg drops on his as though she is laying next to him with her leg across his. He pats her hand.
TIMMY That's good, let's just lay here.
5 THE CAMERA PULLS BACK AND REVEALS JUST HER ARM AND LEG 5 LAYING ACROSS HIS BODY.
6 EXT. MAIN HOUSE/FRONT PORCH - MORNING 6
On the steps of the facade, MATT, a tall man in his thirties. He manages the compound and is arguing with MR. BOBRICK. The grumpy, dirty old man in an equally dirty, rumpled suit who actually owns the compound.
MATT I can't keep operating this compound like nothing's wrong.
MR. BOBRICK You work for me and will do as I say.
MATT At least cancel the interns.
MR. BOBRICK When we allow those college kids to volunteer their help, they get college credit. I get money from the government for the program.
MATT You never told me that!
MR. BOBRICK You don't need to know everything. But now you do. So you see why I can't suspend any activities.
MATT You can't ignore a murder!
The Sheriff's squad car pulls up the drive and parks near Mr. Bobrick's car.
MR. BOBRICK Who called the sherriff?
MATT I did.
MR. BOBRICK Why did you do that?
MATT The murder!
MR. BOBRICK We don't know it was a murder. As far as we know it could have been an accident.
MATT An accident?
MR. BOBRICK Just leave it to me.
SHERIFF LOAM, an early 40ish, outdoor-looking man and his deputy RAY PHEIFF, a smaller man than the sherfiff, but a by the book lawman.
The deputy gets out of the driver's side. He pulls a little note book and pen from his pocket and begins taking notes as he surveys the area.
The sheriff approaches Matt and Bobrick.
MR. BOBRICK Sheriff.
SHERIFF What's the problem?
MR. BOBRICK A young girl was killed last night.
SHERIFF How'd it happen?
MR. BOBRICK We think it was a gardening accident.
SHERIFF Uh huh.
MR. BOBRICK We. Well Matt here told them not to prune the bushes at night.
SHERIFF Can I see the body?
Matt goes up to the porch. They all follow him.
7 EXT: MAIN HOUSE/FRONT PORCH - MORNING 7
Matt shoos away some dogs sniffing at two plastic garbage bags on a low table.
She picks one up and hands it to the Sheriff. He looks inside. Matt picks up the other one and opens it for the Sheriff to see.
SHERIFF Gardening accident you say? Could I see the gardening tools?
Bobrick looks about and sees some large hedge clippers leaning against a post. He grabs them and gives them to the sheriff.
The sheriff takes them looking them up and down.
The deputy is on the porch, walking in the background taking notes of antique tools and signs hanging on the walls of the facade.
MR. BOBRICK Apparently Timmy and a friend of his tried to prune the pepper trees last night after smoking some kind of drug.
SHERIFF Where was the body found?
MR. BOBRICK No body was there.
MATT This is all there is. Otto found Timmy unconscious with the girl's arm and leg across him. It happened down the drive at the pepper trees.
Otto walks by with a wheel barrow with rakes and hoes.
SHERIFF Could you show me exactly where?
MATT Otto. The sheriff wants to see exactly where you found Timmy.
Mr. Bobrick watches the Sheriff walk down the steps with Matt. They stop at the sheriff's squad car as he throws the evidence in the back. Then continues with Otto down the drive.
Deputy Phief steps up to Mr. Bobrick
DEPUTY So, Mr. Bobrick, you say there was nobody?
MR. BOBRICK No body was there.
DEPUTY What about Timmy?
MR. BOBRICK What about him?
DEPUTY You said nobody was there. He was there.
MR. BOBRICK He and part of the girl.
DEPUTY That's what I thought.
MR. BOBRICK But no body was found.
DEPUTY Wait a minute. Timmy was there...
MR. BOBRICK Right.
DEPUTY The girl was there.
MR. BOBRICK Right.
DEPUTY So we can say there were at least two people at the scene?
MR. BOBRICK At least.
DEPUTY Now, is there anything else you can tell me?
MR. BOBRICK Well, when we looked for the girl we found no body.
DEPUTY Everyone had left the scene?
MR. BOBRICK No, Timmy was there, holding the girl's hand. But there was no body around.
The deputy puts away his note pad and pencil. He motions for Mr. Bobrick to "step into his office." They walk a few feet.
DEPUTY First you tell me who was there. Then you tell me there was nobody around. How do you have suspects if there's nobody involved?
MR. BOBRICK That's it, Deputy! There was no crime.
The Deputy digests the information.
8 EXT. PEPPER TREES - MORNING 8
The sheriff surveys the murder scene. The busted fence, the messed up branches, splatters around pools of blood.
He steps into the canopy of branches as Matt and Otto wait. Something catches his eye. He snaps on a rubber glove and picks up something from the dirt. He looks at the object closely. It's an eyeball. He pulls a plastic bag from his shirt pocket and puts the eye in it. Then steps through the branches.
The sheriff shows Matt the eye.
SHERIFF You recognize this?
MATT I can honestly say I don't.
SHERIFF I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't let Timmy go anywhere for a while.
A silver pickup truck has come in the drive and stops by Matt and the two men. Inside is KiKi Herrmann. Mid thirties. Attractive woman and her boyfriend, the all unassuming Billy.
MATT Can I do something for you?
KIKI I'm looking for Matt Bowen. But if the sheriff is here to take him to jail I can come back tomorrow.
She smiles big at her whimsy.
Everyone looks at KiKi with very stoic expressions. The sheriff still holds the eye in the plastic bag.
KIKI (continuing) God. What's wrong with you guys? You act like somebody died.
SHERIFF Are you trying to be funny ma'am?
She turns her head and looks at Billy who is sitting in the passenger seat looking out the window.
KIKI (continuing) Tell them Billy, I was trying to be funny. Billy! Look at me!
Billy turns his head to look at KiKi.
KIKI (continuing) Tell them I was trying to be funny. Wasn't I?
BILLY Yes, KiKi.
KIKI I was what?
BILLY You were trying to be funny.
Kiki has an epiphany and turns her head back to the men. They see the surprise on her face.
KIKI Someone did die!
She turns back to Billy.
KIKI (continuing) Didn't I tell you I'm psychic, Billy?
BILLY Yes, Kiki.
KIKI Just like when we had lunch. Didn't I tell you I had a feeling about the fish.
BILLY Yes, KiKi.
KIKI And it was what?
BILLY It was bad, KiKi.
KIKI That's right. Now aren't you glad I made you eat just the bread and water?
BILLY Yes, KiKi.
Kiki is overcome with another "feeling". She turns back to the group again with a look of sudden awareness.
KIKI Don't tell me Matt Bowen died! If he's dead I drove all the way out here to the middle of nowhere for nothing!
MATT I'm Matt Bowen. I don't know who you are but...
KIKI I'm KiKi. Your friend Rhea knows my friend Tarpon and she told him that you had a tiger for rent.
MATT Not now.
KIKI I don't want it now. I want it on the eleventh.
Matt turns his attention back to the sheriff.
MATT Let's go up top.
As they walk, Kiki, rolls along with them in her truck. She casually leans on her window, fondling and smelling her hair, oblivious to the three men.
Matt tries to ignore her but can't.
MATT (continuing) Do you mind?
KIKI Not at all. I'll be here when you're done.
The men continue to walk. Kiki stays nonchalantly even with them.
MATT What will you do now sheriff?
SHERIFF Fill out the reports. Run the fingerprints. But we can't do much till the coroner gets back. Ma'am.
Everyone stops. Kiki turns her head to the sheriff.
SHERIFF (continuing) Ma'am. This is official business.
KIKI You think I drove out here for my health? I have business too!
SHERIFF Don't make me remove you by force.
KIKI Oh please. Who do you think you are? Wyatt Earp?
Matt goes up to Kiki's window.
MATT Just tell me what you want then get off my land.
KIKI Do you have a tiger for rent? Yes or no?
MATT Yes. But you can't afford it.
KIKI How do you know? Can I at least see him?
MATT He's not here.
KIKI Where is he?
MATT None of your business.
KIKI Why not?
MATT What's it going to take to get rid of you?
KIKI Let me see your tiger.
MATT Come back this afternoon. Just leave now.
KIKI If I comeback later you'll have the tiger here?
Matt reaches in KiKi's window.
9 INT: KIKI'S TRUCK - MORNING 9
The Sherfiff grabs the gear shift and puts the car in reverse.
10 EXT: DRIVEWAY - MORNING 10
The truck starts backing down the drive.
KIKI What time?
MATT Much later!
Kiki yells out the window.
KIKI I'll be back around six.
Kiki's truck backs around the bend.
11 INT: KIKI'S TRUCK - MORNING 11
KIKI Didn't I tell you I would get the tiger, Billy?
BILLY You don't have it yet.
12 EXT: COMPOUND ROAD - MORNING 12
The truck drives away.
KIKI (O.S.) (stearnly) What did you say?
BILLY (O.S.) I love you, Kiki.
13 INT. MAIN HOUSE-LIVING ROOM - DAY 13
Sorting through the mail is LAURA, A good looking athletic woman in her early 30's.
Matt comes in.
MATT God, what a day.
LAURA Here's the mail.
Laura gives Matt a hand full of mail. He riffles through it and pulls out a plain envelope.
MATT You're kidding me!
Matt tears it open.
LAURA What is it?
MATT It's from the IRS. They say we owe twenty-six thousand dollars in back taxes. Just when you think it can't get any worse the IRS is on my ass!
LAURA Our ass.
LAURA Our ass. I'm in this with you.
Matt teases Laura.
MATT Yeah, right. Now things are really bad.
LAURA What did Bobrick say about the girl?
MATT He lied to the sheriff. And won't let me close the compound while we catch whatever killed her.
LAURA That would be the smart thing.
MATT Damn right! He wants the money.
LAURA What money?
MATT Apparently he gets government money to have those students come here every year.
LAURA I thought they volunteer for college credit.
MATT They get credit. Bobrick gets money.
LAURA And we get nothing! That cheap bastard!
MATT Did you expect he would do it for free?
LAURA The only ones working for free is us! What can we do about the killer?
MATT Let's give him Bobrick's address.
OTTO, Matt's assistant who is in his late 50's. A rustic old bearded guy appears in the doorway.
OTTO Matt, the new group of volunteers is here.
14 EXT. DRIVEWAY - MORNING 14
Matt runs with Otto down the drive, grabbing Timmy along the way, intercepting a group of students with luggage and back packs walking up the drive.
MATT I'm Matt Bowen, manager and head animal trainer. This is Otto and Timmy. They'll show you where you sleep.
Matt speaks to Otto
MATT (continuing) After they put up their gear we'll give them a tour. I'll join you in a few minutes.
Otto and Timmy shuttle off the group. As Matt heads back up the drive
15 EXT: ANIMAL CAGES - DAY 15
The group is standing in front of Matt at the gate.
MATT What we do here is take care of animals. They make our living in the film industry so the least we can do is keep them healthy.
Matt takes his keys from his belt and unlocks the chain link gate to the animals.
All the animals MAKE NOISE HEARING THE CHAINS CLINK.
16 EXT: KENNELS - DAY 16
Matt leads the group into the animal area.
MATT Here are the rules. Do what you're told when your told to do it. And never do anything with an animal without Otto, Timmy, Laura or me with you. Follow rule number one you might just make it through this. Break rule number two you won't. Got it?
The group nods.
Matt points to pens of dogs.
MATT (continuing) Those are our K-9s. We have many different breeds.
BETTY KROCKER, a spry, full-bodied woman sixty plus, speaks up.
BETTY Any pure breeds in there?
MATT The Rotwieller and the bulldog... but we find the best dogs are mutts. Many we rescued from the pound. You may remember those dogs from such films as "Lassie in the Hood" and "Dogpound's Most Wanted.
17 EXT: KENNELS/DOG CAGES - DAY 17
In a cage are some motley looking dogs. Some are missing limbs. One dog is wearing an eye patch. "criminal" types.
18 EXT: PIG PEN - DAY 18
MATT Here we have pigs. Over here we have...
Matt gestures off frame and is moving that way.
WILLIAM, a young, black man in his 20's, stops in front of the pigs.
WILLIAM Wait a minute. Any Oscar winning pigs in there?
MATT Nope. But there's a prize ham in there somewhere. Over here are the wolves.
Matt Exits frame. The group follows.
19 EXT: WOLF PEN - MORNING 19
Wolves in a pen.
MONA is an attractive young lady of about 30. She is tall and beautiful. A very athletic fit woman.
MONA What have they been in?
MATT They've been in their cages lately. They haven't worked in a while.
Matt walks out of frame camera right. As Sigfried, a handsome youth, nicely groomed, very tan, with blonde hair, steps in camera left.
SIGFRIED What about "Dances With Wolves?"
Matt leans back in from camera right, inches from Sigfried's face.
MATT My wolves won't dance. Don't ask them. Over here is...
Matt walks through frame past Sigfried. Ziggy turns and follows.
20 EXT: DAGNEY'S CAGE - DAY 20
Matt gets to the cage first. The others form semi-circle around Matt. Inside is a baboon.
MATT ...Dagney. She's a baboon. Dagney and I have been together a long time. She's very jealous and doesn't like other females. So, if you girls can't restrain yourselves and get too close to me, she will freak out.
They all laugh at Matt's humor.
DEE DEE is a blonde young, busty woman. Very voluptuous.
DEE DEE You mean if I get real close to you the monkey goes ape?
Dee dee moves into Matt. Dagney yells and screams.
The group is taken back
GARY, a good ole' boy from Corpus Christi Texas, full of the home spun, corn fed, country philosophy passed on by his parents, pulls her from Matt.
RAJI, a young Hindu fellow, no turban but a thick accent, takes a big step back.
RAJI Oh my goodness. Would you please stop trying to prove what a slut you are. You are going to get us all killed!
Two fellows, Harold and Bob, the guys from the "audio visual" club in high school. HAROLD has the video camera to his eye. And BOB seems to be the director. If these guys weren't here they would be hacking computers somewhere.
MATT She's ok...It's ok, Dagney...
Matt opens the cage door to let her out.
RAJI Good grief! He is taking her out! You are on your own blondie!
Raji turns to get behind Mona.
RAJI (continuing) Oh Lord! Run! Save yourselves!
Harold continues to video the retreating students.
HAROLD This is great stuff.
MATT It's OK. No one is going to get hurt.
Matt comforts her then sets her on a bucket and lets her groom his hand. Dagney immediately starts to pick at the hair on it and grunts contentedly.
MATT (continuing) Right now, she's "grooming" my hand. It brings her comfort and lets me know how much she loves me.
BOB She really seems to enjoy it.
MATT She'd chew it off and keep it if she could. Lets go down to the arena and I'll introduce you to Bubba.
Vernell, a cute African-American girl in her 20's, speaks to Gary as the crowd shuffles away.
VERNELL Somebody you know from back home, cowboy?
She walks with the crowd out of frame. Gary speaks then follows.
GARY Don't tell me there ain't a Bubba somewhere in your family tree.
Matt takes a little effort to wrench his hand from Dagney before putting her in her cage.
21 EXT: ARENA - LATE AFTERNOON 21
Bubba, a 350 pound tiger, walks in the arena.
The group is gathered around the 10' high chain link fence of the arena. Inside are platforms for the tiger. Matt is inside the arena holding on to Bubba's chain. He is about 8-10 feet from the crowd.
Dee dee pushes her way to the fence directly in front of Matt and looks hungrily at Bubba. Her face is flushed, her bosom heaves. A film of perspiration builds on her face.
MATT This is Bubba. I raised him from a cub.
Bob directs to Harold
BOB Get his face.
SIGFRIED Is he trained?
MATT He is. But he still has all the instincts of a wild animal.
MEGAN is a pretty, sweetly, innocent "Lolita" type girl in her early 20's.
MEGAN You mean he could kill us?
MATT If he wanted to.
MEGAN Couldn't you stop her?
MATT I could try. But when a tiger strikes it doesn't take long.
BETTY Teenagers are the same way.
MATT I hope you don't mind me saying but, you aren't the typical student that comes through here.
BETTY Lots of people my age are going to college. Better late than never.
MATT And you want to be an animal trainer?
BETTY Sure. Why not? After eight kids I didn't think wild animals could be so tough.
MATT Your kids won't eat you.
WILLIAM Tell that to Jeffrey Dahmer's mother, honey.
DEE DEE When do we get to actually touch the tiger?
RAJI There she goes again!
MATT Right now is good.
RAJI Whatever happened to one step at a time? Look today. Touch in a week or so.
DEE DEE Out of my way Gunga Din.
Dee dee pushes past Raji to be the first at the gate. She tries to open the door.
Raji steps near Betty.
RAJI If we were in my country I would have her trampled by a cow!
Betty slides to the middle of the group.
MATT NO. NO. No one comes in today.
RAJI Thank Goodness.
MATT I'll walk him along the fence. You can touch him as he rubs himself on the chain link.
Matt stays at Bubba's head as they walk along the fence.
Dee dee is glassy-eyed. Filled with desire, she walks along the fence focused on Bubba. Oblivious to everyone sticking their fingers in the fence she barrels through them.
Some grumble. Some have their fingers caught. But they are all fascinated.
It is almost orgasmic for Dee dee. When Bubba stops breifly Dee dee stops near Betty.
DEE DEE I am so turned on right now.
BETTY Maybe you should be talking to one of the young men.
Dee dee is bodily caressing the chain link.
DEE DEE They couldn't do this to me.
Dee dee almost goes over the edge as Bubba's tail flicks across what ever part of her is against the fence.
MATT Laura has lunch for all of you. Go on up top and I'll join you as soon as I put Bubba away.
The group starts up the road to the house. Dee dee lags behind.
DEE DEE Maybe I could stay behind and help you.
MATT I think it would be a good idea if you went to lunch and helped yourself right now. I'll be fine.
Dee dee, coquettishly walks away. Backwards at first then turns and runs up the hill accentuating her girlish charms.
MATT (continuing) I'm thinking, nothing but trouble. What do you think?
Bubba licks his chops
22 EXT: EATING AREA - DAY 22
In front of the facade across from the house, picnic tables are set up for taking the meals. A grill is set up and tables with drinks, condiments and silverware are nearby. A good buffet style operation.
Laura attends to wienies sizzling on a grill. She leaves the grill and jumps up on a bench to address the group.
LAURA Hello everyone. I'm Laura. Help yourselves to the salad and veggies on this table here. The line for the main course starts down at that end of the grill.
The group organizes by the table with the eating utensils, condiments, salad and beans.
GARY Serve yourself and save! That's what Mama used to say.
MONA When she breast fed you?
GARY Your kind of a funny girl, aren't you?
MONA I was never known for my sense of humor.
GARY I'm not surprised.
With paper plates in hand, the students serve themselves down the chow line.
Gary steps up to Laura.
LAURA What's your name cowboy?
LAURA You look like you could use some meat on those bones.
GARY I eat like a horse. But nothing ever sticks to my ribs.
LAURA Well, don't you worry. The food here sticks to everything. What would you like, chicken hot dogs or hot dog hot dogs?
GARY What are the hot dogs made of?
GARY Just like home!
He holds out his plate and Laura puts a couple of wienies on it.
Betty steps up to be served.
LAURA What'll it be... Uh...?
BETTY Mrs. Krocker. Call me Betty.
LAURA So, you're Betty Krocker?
BETTY Not the Betty Crocker. A Betty Krocker. My husband Joe's family spells it with a "K". Chicken please.
Laura holds up a wienie with her tongs and smiles.
BETTY Sagging a bit, but not bad for a woman my age.
Laura puts a couple wienies on her plate. Then Betty exits.
William steps up to the grill and speaks to Mona behind him.
WILLIAM Did you hear? That woman is married to Joe Cocker.
LAURA Not "Cocker", "Krocker". That was Betty Krocker.
MONA You think she knows the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
WILLIAM A big wienie please!
23 EXT: EATING AREA/DRINK TABLE - DAY 23
Matt serves the drinks and writes a name tag then sticks it to the person.
Dee dee comes up licking ketchup from her fingers.
MATT And you are...?
DEE DEE I'm Dee dee.
Matt is aware of Dee dee's succulent bosom gently rising and falling before her, but he maintains his staunch yet sociable demeanor.
MATT How do you spell that?
DEE DEE With double D's.
Dee dee sticks out her chest.
Matt picks up his pen and writes the name on the tag. He wants to apply it but hesitates when Dee dee seems too eager for him to stick it to her boob. He pulls up a can of soda.
Dee dee takes the can. Matt sticks the name tag to it.
MATT (continuing) Enjoy your lunch.
Raji approaches Matt.
MATT (continuing) What's your name?
MATT You have no salad. No veggies? No beans?
RAJI I will definitely enjoy all of them. Right now I would like something to drink please.
MATT Pick your poison?
RAJI It is all poison to me.
Matt picks up one choice of beverage after another and Raji has a reason for not drinking it.
RAJI (continuing) Nothing with saccharin. I break out from Nutrasweet. I'm staying away from sugar. And I am,
Matt picks up a carton of milk.
RAJI (continuing) unfortunately, lactose intolerant.
MATT There's a tin cup by the toilet if you get thirsty.
RAJI It is just like home.
MATT I'm joking. Seltzer?
Raji takes the seltzer then steps over to the grill.
RAJI I would like three wienies, please.
RAJI In my country we always make an offering to our god. Two for me and one for the great Goneesha.
LAURA In this country if Goneesha eats, Goneesha cleans cages.
Laura takes back a wienie.
RAJI This will not set well for you in the hereafter.
LAURA It doesn't look good for you in the here and now.
She takes back another wienie.
Raji moves along and sits with the group seated along tables.
MATT This might be a good time to tell a little about yourselves. Tell us who you are and why you're here. You, William isn't it? Why are you here?
Laura sits next to Matt.
WILLIAM My name is William Ruth. My parents do not think this will work out for me.
MATT Why not?
WILLIAM Because I never had a pet. I never cared for animal shows on TV. But here I am. Go figure.
MATT What'd your mom want you to be?
WILLIAM A girl.
LAURA What'd your dad want you to be?
WILLIAM A boy.
Harold still has the video camera at his eye.
BOB Hi. We're Harold and Bob. He's Harold. I'm Bob. We're documenting our training on video for posterity. After college we hope to mattet a line of "HOW TO TRAIN YOUR ANIMAL" videos.
MATT Really. And you hope to make a fortune?
BOB Are you kidding? People are screaming to be told that their bad dog is not their fault.
RAJI I'm Raji Mahatmarajshahaharon. In my country we charm snakes, worship the cow and domesticate the elephant. I was terrible at all of those things. I would just like to teach a dog to sit and stay. I would also like another weinie. I am still hungry.
DEE DEE I'm Dee dee Larson. I'm here to work with the big cats. I was born to work them. I believe that I was a tiger in another life. And dream to lay naked with them. Like the lion and the lamb.
RAJI More like the lamb to the slaughter.
MATT I'm going to keep my eye on you.
DEE DEE I hope so.
BETTY I'm Betty Krocker. I'm here because Life doesn't end when you're 63, all your children leave home and your husband dies. No sir! I decided to get on with it because I was so damn bored.
MEGAN I'm Megan Brooks. My parents owned a pet shop. I grew up caring for animals I never got to keep.
The crowd is sympathetic.
BETTY She's so sweet.
MONA Life is tough kid.
MEGAN Little baby rabbits. Kittens and puppies. Fuzzy ducklings and chicks. I would feed them and clean them. And just when I loved them they would be sold away.
LAURA You never had a pet of your own?
MEGAN No. My parents said it would be like bringing their work home with them.
BETTY Shes' so sweet.
DEE DEE She's making my teeth rot.
VERNELL I'm Vernell DuBois. That means "wood" in French. First of all I don't like spiders and snakes. And second of all I'm not French so don't ask me to do any disgusting things with my tongue.
MATT What kind of pet did you have as a kid, Vernell?
VERNELL A Chia pet.
MATT What inspired you to become an animal trainer?
VERNELL If I could get that chia animal to grow grass on it's back I could do anything. (as she sits) Thank you. I'll be here all month.
SIGFRIED I am Sigfried. I have a dream to be...
MATT Just Sigfried? No last name?
SIGFRIED Yes, you know, like Picasso.
Sigfried rises as he gets caught up in his own fantasy.
SIGFRIED I want to see my name in lights. To bask in the applause of thousands as I pose before 20 trained tigers. I will look magnificent.
MATT I like your ambition. But I think it's been done.
SIGFRIED (indifference) I've got the name. And the formula works.
GARY Will you be doing that trick where the tiger carries you around by the throat?
SIGFRIED I just pose. I don't actually touch the animals.
Matt casts his eyes at Gary.
MATT Who the hell are you?
Gary is seated with his back to the facade porch. He stands to address the group.
GARY My name is Weston. Gary Weston. From Corpus Christie Texas
VERNELL I knew it! You can always tell a Texan...not much. But you can tell them.
GARY I'll remember you said that.
VERNELL I hope so.
MATT Any animal experience Gary?
GARY After I got out of the service I trained guard dogs for junk yards and abortion clinics. And I got a way with horses.
MATT What do you mean, 'gotta way with'? Like, you "got away with murder?"
GARY Nope. Just got a way with horses.
Gary gestures behind everyone.
Everyone's head turns to look behind them.
Three horses are standing quietly.
MATT Those are Cooley's horses aren't they?
LAURA Sure looks like them.
GARY (O.S.) I just went down to say hi to them earlier.
All heads turn back and look at Gary.
MATT So you stole Cooley's horses?
GARY They just like being around me.
JOE (O.S.) Sorry, Matt.
All heads turn back to the horses.
Joe Cooley pushes between two of the horses.
JOE Damndest thing. They just opened the corral and walked up here pretty as you please.
Matt isn't sure what to think.
MATT Ok, Joe.
Joe takes the horses back down the driveway.
GARY (O.S.) And...
All heads turn back to Gary
Without taking his eyes off of Gary, Matt speaks to Laura.
MATT There's more.
GARY I was a dance instructor.
LAURA You taught horses to dance?
GARY No. I taught people dancing.
Vernell jumps up.
VERNELL Well C'mon, cowboy! Let's see you shake your saddle bags.
Vernell snaps on a nearby boom box and turns up the music of some snappy HIP HOP beat. The rhythm overtakes her as she dances up and around Gary.
He isn't responding so she stops the music.
VERNELL (continuing) You probably do that unfunky country western dancing. It's ok, baby.
Maybe we can find a washboard and a gut bucket around here somewhere.
Gary walks over to the radio and changes the station to a toe- tapping two step country number. A gutsy pelvis grinding song.
Gary moves to the music as he makes his way up the steps to the porch. When he gets there he turns and extends his hand to Vernell.
She runs up and lets Gary lead her through some Dirty country touch dancing then into some gyrating line dance action.
24 EXT: MAIN HOUSE/BACKPORCH - DAY 24
Vernell is really getting into it as Gary pushes and twirls her through the steps.
25 EXT: EATING AREA - DAY 25
At the tables everyone is feeling the beat.
The music is getting to Betty and she joins in.
26 EXT: MAIN HOUSE/BACKPORCH - DAY 26
One by one they all are up tripping the western light fantastic lead by Gary who is quite good.
At points there is touch dancing that they all seem to already know how to do.
The song ends and the group applauds themselves.
27 INT: SHERIFFS OFFICE - AFTERNOON 27
The deputy is dressed in rubber apron and rubber gloves. At his desk is coverd in plastic on which he has the arm and leg left from the girl. He is fingerprinting the hand. The sheriff is at his desk doing paperwork.
SHERIFF Let's see...height of the deceased. None. Hair color?
SHERIFF Color of eye?
DEPUTY About twentytwo pounds.
SHERIFF Cause of death?
DEPUTY We don't know that she's dead. She might just be missing an eye, an arm and a leg.
SHERIFF Uh huh... Then all we have to do is put out an APB for a one eyed, one armed, one legged woman last seen hopping out of Tick Canyon.
DEPUTY This was no gardening accident!
The deputy finishes fingerprinting the hand.
The sheriff talks while filing papers in a file cabinet.
The deputy does schtick with the hand. Using it as a headrest and back scratcher, among other things.
SHERIFF As soon as I file these, we're going back out to Bobrick's compound. It seems that if a body was to cut itself up there'd be more left than an arm and a leg, right?
DEPUTY Right. You think that doper boy did it?
SHERIFF Doesn't seem likely. No blood on him. No blood on the hedge clippers.
DEPUTY We never found any.
SHERIFF I think Mr. Bobrick is hiding something.
The deputy holds the arm toward the sheriff.
DEPUTY The rest of this girl?
SHERIFF I don't think he wants us to know what really went on.
The Deputy pulls his notebook from his shirt pocket.
DEPUTY According to my initial questioning...
He licks the thumb of the girls hand and uses it to flip through the pages of the notebook.
DEPUTY (continuing) He doesn't have a clue.
The deputy puts the notebook back in his pocket. He interlaced his fingers with the girl's fingers and puts them behind his head as he leans back comfortably on the desk.
The sheriff turns.
SHERIFF I think he has more than a clue. What are you doing?
DEPUTY I'm thinking.
The sheriff takes the arm away from the deputy.
SHERIFF Stop playing with the evidence. Get these things on ice before they draw flies.
The Deputy gathers up the plastic protecting the desk. He has trouble collecting everything.
DEPUTY Would you give me a hand?
The girls arm flies in frame. The Deputy traps it under his chin against his bundle.
28 EXT. MAIN HOUSE - TRAMPOLINE - AFTERNOON 28
Nothing but sky. Mona's head comes up in frame then drops out. It happens again.
A slow pull reveals everyone on the side of the house around the trampoline that Mona is jumping on.
In the foreground Matt hands Otto a plastic bag heavy with something inside.
MATT Here, feed the big cats and mix some in with the dog's food.
OTTO Where'd you get this?
MATT This is why we have chicken hot dogs instead of hamburger and hot dogs.
Otto acknowledges knowingly. He starts to his task
Matt heads to the crowd around the trampoline as the sheriff's squad car pulls up the drive and parks.
Matt seems annoyed but puts on a more cordial face when the sheriff gets out of the car.
SHERIFF Hey, Matt.
SHERIFF I see you got another group of students.
MATT It's that time again.
SHERIFF They're a fine looking bunch.
Looking at Mona on the trampoline.
SHERIFF (continuing) Fine looking.
MATT What can I do for you?
SHERIFF I was wondering if there might be something more.
MATT More what? More clues?
DEPUTY More body?
SHERIFF If this was a gardening accident, it was the mother of all accidents.
MATT To tell you the truth, Sheriff, this was no accident. That girl was killed.
SHERIFF You think that doper boy did it?
MATT Timmy's not that stupid. It was some sort of animal.
MATT It had to have been big enough to carry the body off.
SHERIFF There's no bear in these canyons. Wolves?
Matt and the sheriff look at the deputy
DEPUTY (continuing) Big as beavers I hear!
Realizing he isn't being taken seriously the deputy turns and walks out of frame.
MATT I don't know. A pack of wolves maybe? But where are the tracks?
SHERIFF I'd like to take a look around. I'll tell some of the boys to get their dogs and search the canyons.
MATT Sheriff, could we keep this kind of quiet? I don't need these new kids getting spooked.
SHERIFF I understand.
MATT Why don't you have a cold drink before you go?
Sheriff and Matt approach the food tables.
Ray is there filling a plate.
SHERIFF What are you doing?
DEPUTY Laura said it was alright.
SHERIFF We got work to do. C'mon.
DEPUTY Can't we stay? The blonde girl hasn't jumped on the trampoline yet.
SHERIFF Let's go!
Sheriff and deputy get into the squad car.
29 INT. SHERIFF'S VEHICLE - DAY 29
DEPUTY But Jason, when that guy gets off the trampoline, the blonde was going to bounce.
Through the windshield, Gary careens off the trampoline. William and Megan run so they don't get crushed.
A large cloud of dust goes up when Gary hits the ground.
DEPUTY (continuing) All right! The blonde is up!
The sheriff speaks to Matt.
SHERIFF Is that boy gonna be alright?
MATT I hope so.
The sheriff pulls away and down the drive.
30 INT: SHERIFF'S VEHICLE - DAY 30
From inside the squad car through any window available.
Otto dashes Gary with a bucket of water to revive him. The dialogue trails away as the car goes down the drive.
MATT You were supposed to spot him.
WILLIAM I did! When I spotted him, I got out of his way.
The deputy is forlorn. His head drooping on the back of the seat. He WHINES.
DEPUTY But the blonde...
31 EXT. MAIN HOUSE - DAY 31
Otto is helping Gary stagger to his place around the trampoline
Dee dee approaches Matt.
DEE DEE It's my turn, could you help me up?
Obviously, she is being obvious.
Mona is obviously disgusted.
MONA Oh, please.
At the food tables Betty notices Laura noticing Dee dee. Laura is controllably miffed. She has two trash bags in her hands.
BETTY Is there anything I can do to help, Laura?
LAURA No thanks, Betty.
BETTY Never you mind about her.
At the trampoline, Dee dee is a sight in her cut off T-shirt bouncing on the trampoline. Her eyes on Matt.
All the men are wide-eyed with gaping mouths. Except William...he is standing next to Mona. They look on in disapproving wonder.
MONA You'd think that would hurt.
WILLIAM Oh please girl, you never saw plastic bounce?
Laura steps up and holds out the trash bags.
LAURA Matt, could you help me?
Matt answers without taking his eyes off of Dee dee.
MATT In a minute. Would you bring me a beer?
Laura is incensed! She storms away.
LAURA I'll get you a beer!
32 EXT. MAIN HOUSE - TRAMPOLINE 32
Dee dee is bouncing in slow motion, accenting every weightless and G-pulling moment.
33 EXT: MAIN HOUSE - EATING AREA - AFTERNOON 33
Laura snags a beer.
LAURA Here's your damn beer!
She shakes the can violently.
Betty speaks to Laura sincerely concerned.
BETTY That's going to explode in his face, dear.
Laura looks at Betty, unconcerned, then goes to Matt.
He takes the beer from her without looking at her. Hurt and angry, Laura storms away as Betty looks on.
34 EXT. MAIN HOUSE/TRAMPOLINE - DAY 34
Dee dee stops jumping and goes over to Matt who is about to open his beer. Dee dee holds out her arms with a helpless expression on her face.
Without taking his eyes off Dee dee he holds the beer out to Mona.
MATT Hold this.
Mona takes Matt's beer.
Matt helps Dee dee off the trampoline and she is sure to rub as much of her ample bosom on him as possible.
Mona gives the can a few hidden shakes as well.
Matt finally gets Dee dee to the ground. She is erotically obvious.
She pushes her way between Mona and Matt.
MONA Here's your beer.
Mona extends her arm across Dee dee. Matt takes his beer.
MATT Who's next?
He opens his beer. It explodes in his face. Beer foam soaking his head and shoulders. Dee Dbee gets a good bit of it as well. Now her shirt is wet.
Sigfried climbs up on the trampoline.
Matt staggers off for a towel.
On the trampoline, Sigfried is going for height.
From the peak of his jump, he can see in the second story windows of the house.
Holding at the top of his jump Sigfried falls out of frame as Laura comes into the bathroom on the second floor.
Sigfried bounces up in frame.
She sees him seeing her. He drops out of frame.
Laura grabs her shirt. Sigfried bounces back up, she pulls off her shirt exposing her ample underwire supported bosom.
Sigfried is surprised.
RAJI What's he looking at in that window?
MONA I can only guess.
At the trampoline level, we see Sigfried put some "umpf" into this jump.
Laura is still standing in the window.
Sigfried bounces into frame.
Laura pops the catch on her bra catching it against her breasts.
Sigfried smiles big then drops from frame.
Mona is on the edge of the trampoline.
Ziggy drops to the trampoline. Mona jumps on and double bounces him much higher than he was ready for.
Ziggy springs up out of frame.
William is watching Ziggy go way up in the air along with everyone else.
WILLIAM Don't worry, Ziggy!
With a shrill cry he steps back and lets Ziggy hit the ground.
35 EXT: COMPOUND/ESTABLISHING - NIGHT 35
All is still for the student's first night at the compound.
36 EXT. MIDDLE DRIVEWAY - NIGHT 36
The gate is still. Then it swings open and Kiki is revealed a bit disheveled and has her cell phone to her ear.
KIKI Billy, get up here!
From behind Kiki, Billy walks up beside her as she begins down the road. She hangs up her phone in disgust and throws it in her purse.
KIKI (continuing) They told me this phone would work anywhere in the world. Anywhere but here! Whose idea was it to kill time looking for a house out here in hells half acre?
BILLY It was yours, Kiki.
They walk along the road to the left of the road to the house.
KIKI Billy! I'm in no mood. I was in no mood when my fucking phone didn't work when I tried to call Triple A four hours ago! Now...who wanted to look at houses?
BILLY I did, KiKi.
KIKI Right. But we don't want to live out here. Because when you get lost and break down in the canyon you have to walk fifty fucking miles to find civilization!
BILLY Your right, KiKi.
Kiki starts to limp and falls behind as Billy walks on.
KIKI Billy do you see me hobbling here? Look at me!
Billy stops and looks at KiKi walking on the toes of one foot.
KIKI (continuing) Is this the way I normally walk? Is it?
Billy shrugs his shoulders.
KIKI (continuing) Don't shrug your shoulders at me. If you have something to say, say it!
BILLY Yes, KiKi.
KIKI Shut up!
Kiki heads for the bench near some bales of hay. Billy follows.
KIKI (continuing) My foot is killing me. I've got to get this shoe off. Now stand over there!
Billy approaches the chain link fence of a dark cage. Kiki moans behind him on the bench.
Out of the dark from inside the cage CHUCKIE THE CHEETAH leaps at the fence.
Billy jumps back but doesn't turn to Kiki. He stands a little farther from the cage but she's still in the background tending to her foot.
KIKI (continuing) Billy! Didn't I tell you not to tease the animals? Get away from there.
Billy turns to go to KIKI
KIKI (continuing) But don't come over here!
Billy resumes his original position facing the cage.
KIKI (continuing) My God. Sometimes you don't have a brain in your head. Look at me!
Billy turns his head to look at KiKi.
KIKI (continuing) Its' very simple. You do what I say when I say to do it.
Billy turns his head back to the cage.
KIKI (continuing) Is that so hard? Oh! I have a blister!
She holds up her foot so he can see. But Billy doesn't turn.
KIKI (continuing) Billy, I might have to go to the doctor. Billy! I'm talking to you!
BILLY (under his breath) Why don't you just shut up.
KIKI I think I need a Band Aid!
Something from the shadow of tree limbs slices through Kiki's neck. She has a puzzled look then her eyes roll back in her head as it falls off her neck.
37 EXT: COMPOUND ROAD - NIGHT 37
Billy waits then looks skyward. He mutters something barely audible.
BILLY Thank you.
Billy turns around and sees Kiki.
Some gnarly hands grab Billy's face and pull him out of frame.
38 EXT: COMPOUND/ESTABLISHING - MORNING 38
39 EXT. KENNELS - MORNING 39
Laura and Otto are waiting with shovels, rakes and buckets at the kennels.
LAURA The first step to becoming an animal trainer starts at the bottom. Cleaning cages. Otto has protective gear if you need it. You'll move in groups cleaning all the cages on the compound. There's only one way to get started, and that's to just dive in. Protective gear to the left. Pooper scoopers to the right.
Shovels, rakes and pitchforks are handed out as Laura directs them where to go.
40 EXT. MAIN HOUSE - DAY 40
A car drives up to the front of the house. A man gets out of the car He is GLENN BLAKEMAN, tall, lean, lanky fellow. A lot of character in his face. He has a mysterious demeanor about him. He looks around and doesn't see anyone. He goes to the front door and steps in the house. He looks back outside to see if anyone sees him. He turns to go in the house.
MATT (O.S.) Is there something I can do for you?
Glenn turns and stands in the doorway.
GLENN Yeah. You can tell me where the owner is?
Matt is standing at the bottom of the ramp up to the porch.
MATT He ain't in there.
GLENN My names' Blakeman. Glenn Blakeman I'm looking for work.
MATT Who told you we were hiring?
GLENN Heard it in town.
MATT I've got nothing for you.
GLENN Who are you? Where's the owner?
MATT I'm Matt Bowen. I run this place. And he doesn't do the hiring. I do.
GLENN I can do anything. Anything at all.
MATT I told you. I'm not hiring. Now get out of my house!
Glenn walks out of the house past Matt. Matt steps up on the porch watching Glenn get in his car and drive away.
41 INT. RABBIT PEN - DAY 41
Megan cleans the rabbits and turtles. She is like Cinderella in her own fairy-tale, the little animals love her.
42 INT. REPTILE HOUSE - DAY 42
Vernell is jumping around like a flea on a hot brick as she finishes cleaning the rat cage, while trying not to let the rats touch her.
Laura comes in.
VERNELL When I said I didn't like spiders and snakes...that included rats.
LAURA We take care of them all. Everything has a purpose here.
VERNELL Well, if they're working animals...
LAURA They're food for the snakes.
Vernell takes a surprised pause.
VERNELL Then why in "hailey mills" am I cleaning their cages?
A COMPLETE SCRIPT - E MAIL WAYNE@BAUERFILMS.COM